Taming Perfectionism and Finding Balance

Do you struggle with perfectionism and finding balance while growing your author platform? 

Vivian Cumins, writer and podcaster, shares her personal struggles with perfectionism and the impact it had on her life, from childhood to adulthood.

She discusses the signs of burnout, the importance of self-care, and biblical inspiration to guide your journey.

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Vivian shares about:

[7:19] Signs of perfectionism
[16:34]: Achieving balance through Scripture
[25:04] Building an audience and trusting God to guide your platform

Tune in to gain wisdom and encouragement from Vivian's story and learn how to find balance in your own writing journey.

The Struggle with Perfectionism

Vivian shared how perfectionism has been a part of her life since she was literally in kindergarten. Yes, you read that right — kindergarten! She was that five-year-old kid fussing over her nap blanket because it had ripples in it. Little Vivian couldn't even take a nap unless everything was just so. And while that story may sound kinda cute, it turns out that perfectionism has followed her throughout her entire life, spilling into her adolescence and adulthood.

During her college years, she worked herself to the bone studying for tests and beating herself up to make straight A's. And when she entered her career as a federal employee, primarily with the Air Force, the strive-for-success mentality only intensified. Vivian pushed herself to the edge, earning accolades and promotions, but it wasn’t without sleepless nights, stress, and anxiety.

The Weight of Trying to Do it All

Vivian was not only trying to excel professionally, but she also felt a strong conviction to do good works for God. This meant she was on the praise and worship team, a Stevens minister, and a representative for Women at Risk International, all while building her career and pursuing further education. Talk about juggling! But all this did was lead to burnout — she reached a point where she hated everything and everyone because she was simply doing too much.

Recognizing the Signs

It took Vivian some time to recognize the signs of burnout, but her health was sending up red flags: heart palpitations, weight fluctuations, anxiety attacks, you name it. Interestingly, it wasn’t immediately apparent to those around her. It wasn’t until she had a heartfelt conversation with her daughter years later that she realized the impact her perfectionism had on her loved ones.

The tipping point came about three years ago when Vivian rededicated her life to Christ. She asked God to take control and went through a season of wilderness where He taught her vital lessons about perfectionism, control, and pride. She even delved into her past to understand the roots of her need for control and how it often led to prideful behavior.

Realigning with God's Will

As Vivian learned to let God take the reins, she discovered that the process of writing her story was, in essence, part of her healing. She mentions that when she hits writer's block, it's usually a sign that she's striving too hard and not letting the Holy Spirit guide her. And trust me, learning to let go and let God isn't always a walk in the park. But Vivian emphasizes the importance of surrendering because this isn't just her story; it's God's story being told through her.

Vivian also emphasizes self-care: cutting out sugar, eating right, getting enough sleep, and making time for fun. She and her husband, now empty nesters, make it a point to explore wine country every weekend. They live for these adventures, showing that life isn't just about work — it’s about balance and embracing God's blessings.

Biblical Inspiration for Balance

Vivian turned to the Bible for guidance, particularly First Peter 5:8 and the story of Elijah in First Kings 19:5-9. First Peter warns us to be well-balanced because the enemy seeks to exploit our exhaustion and imbalance. Elijah’s story is a beautiful reminder that sometimes what we need most is rest, nourishment, and time with God. When Elijah lay exhausted under a tree, an angel provided him with food and water, advising him to rest. Only after he was refreshed could Elijah continue his God-given mission.

Practical How-To’s for Finding Balance

Put God First.

Always prioritize your relationship with God. Seek His guidance and let Him lead your efforts.

Self-Care

Take care of your body and mind. Eat right, sleep well, and exercise.

Make Time for Fun

Balance work with leisure. Dedicate time to enjoy the blessings God has provided.

Avoid Extremes

Be cautious of going to extremes in any area of your life. Balance your responsibilities to avoid opening cracks for the enemy.

Take Breaks

Rest is vital. Take time to rejuvenate so you can serve God more effectively.

Community Support

Lean on friends, family, and mentors for encouragement and support.

Building Your Audience as a First-time Author

Vivian is all about building her audience organically while staying true to her mission. She’s been hopping onto podcasts (just like this one) and working with a coach to gain opportunities she might not have had access to otherwise. She also knows the importance of social media, even though it's not her favorite thing.

Vivian's advice is to produce quality content consistently, but also recognize God’s timing. She's all about doing her part and leaving the rest in God's hands.

Vivian’s website
Vivian's Out of Balance Believer Reading Plan
Podmatch (aff)
Book a Podcasting Strategy Session with Kim

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